Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I need to calm my uterus...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
