He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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