idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
