I could have mohawked her pubes.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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