there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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