I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
