carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
