So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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