Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It was confusing and full of hummus
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
