I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
