Will you blow on my dice?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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