You made me cry and you don't even care
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
