i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
