I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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