she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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