I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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