Buhtt sex?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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