Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
