I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize