I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
