When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
do nipples grow back?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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