This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
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2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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