Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Where is the hickey?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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