I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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