hotel room ftw
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize