if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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