No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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