Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
