I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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