Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
being pregnant is like rehab
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
