okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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