dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
