if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
