I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
