I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
