They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
