im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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