Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
