dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
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Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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