I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have aggressive nipples.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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