: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
