I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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