Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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