Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
