she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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