thus making me awesome and them whores
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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