You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
