she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
