I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize