marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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