oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
