My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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