So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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