it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
