is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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