STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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