it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
