there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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