she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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