And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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